Sheep Without a Shepherd Can Turn Into Wolves
Written by Donna on 30 December 2012.

“You have to understand Larry,” he shared. “Larry was a football hero. He was used to having all the girls hanging on him. Hanging all over him. Now, they don’t want him.”

Larry (not his real name) had been involved in an accident. He had suffered a brain injury. His speech was now slurred. He walked by dragging one leg behind him, like the zombies in horror movies. One of his arms was frozen in an unnatural position. His smile was one-sided.
Larry now drooled uncontrollably for no apparent reason. He was not even a shadow of the hunk that his high school heartthrobs remembered. But he still was a virile male. “Now, they don’t want him.” Larry’s friend had spoken words that echo in my mind even to this day: “Now, they don’t want him.”

I don’t know whatever happened to Larry. I don’t know if he’s still alive. I don’t know if he still desires companionship. I only remember that he once attempted to psyche me out by saying, “God made woman for man.” In other words, he was trying to use the Scriptures to convince me -- a very young Christian at the time -- that I should give him the opportunity to win my heart so he could have sex with me, in marriage or otherwise, I would suppose.

I felt sorry for Larry. I still do. But in the absence of true teaching or submission concerning God’s will, Larry had constructed his own theology to capture a woman to satisfy his libido: “God made woman for man.”

God forgive me, but I was in no way attracted to Larry – neither for his personality nor his appearance. Yet he seemed to have the mentality that a female has no choice in such matters in the Kingdom. Of course, he quickly learned that this woman had more enlightenment than he thought. I told him, “But God didn’t make me for you.” And that was the end of it.

I don’t know whatever happened to Larry. But his Scripture quoting probably didn’t capture a wife for himself.

But that is simply one story of men in the Kingdom that I personally experienced. And I simply wonder, “What in the world is the church teaching these men?” However, I guess a more fitting question would be, “Why in the world isn’t the church teaching these men?”

In the absence of considerable expository teaching on how husbands are to love their wives like Christ loves the church, these male sheep are taking on the characteristics of wolves. And God help the poor female who doesn’t know how to protect her heart and mind from those that seek to prey on them.

There have been numerous instances where a brother in Christ has sized me up as his helpmate, and has not even considered if I would consent to such a relationship. There have been numerous instances where a brother in Christ has tried to rush past a friendship with me to enter into a romantic relationship. And when I put the brakes on, the brother moved on to easier targets.

There was even one instance where I insisted that a brother in Christ cease to refer to our meetings as “dates.” He became extremely offended that I would be so relentless in objecting to his using the term “date” in reference to our outings – to the point of having one of his other female friends insult me and call me derogatory descriptors like “stupid” and “dumb.” (I am neither stupid nor dumb, by the way.) But he was so offended that I didn’t want to be “dating” him that he had to take digs at me through another female. Well, he was another example of a wolf, I suppose. No teaching from his elders on how to treat a woman of God with respect, I guess.

And then there was the brother in Christ who thought I should receive whatever little attention he gave, because that was the only way he knew how to demonstrate his interest. Take it or leave it, so to speak. I don’t ever recall Jesus treating me in that fashion. I recall Jesus wooing me. I recall Him showing up in unmistakable ways, and demonstrating that He loved me and could take care of me. But to hear a man of God say, “I don’t do that” and expect me to love it or leave it, means he had no clue what it was like to love me like Christ loved the church. And thank God I was not naïve -- and was surprised the brother in Christ was not perceptive enough to realize I was not so naïve. So why was he trying to marry me? (Take one guess.) I promptly left his offer in his hand, of course. “Next!”

These are just examples of sheep without a shepherd who have turned to wolves in the sheepfold. They may go to church and be deacons and ministers and pastors, even. But they have not been taught or mentored in how to treat a holy, upstanding, serious woman of God or sister in Christ. They have the same worldly, ungodly, unholy, unwholesome patterns of behavior that they had in the world. They bring it to the church, slap a few Scriptures on top of it, and expect it to fly.

The sad part is, it does fly with many sisters who are emotionally damaged. When a woman that’s as damaged as the brothers are allows them inroads into her life, they contend that it’s her that is the cause of problems in their relationship.

But their tactics do not fly with perceptive, discerning sisters who have a sense of wholeness and self-worth without a man beside them.

Now, because I have not heard much teaching from the pulpit on this, I take up the pen and Sword and say something myself. God made me a mouthpiece and it’s not just for teaching young people to love and serve the Lord. I have begged and pleaded with my male counterparts in the ministry to address these concerns. I suppose it is not burning in their hearts because it’s always been like this. I suppose it’s not burning in their hearts because too many of them want to operate in the same ways, perhaps. I suppose the “Holy Ghost hasn’t told” them to teach about it. Well, He told me to speak about it – so I ask for the brothers not to get mad or offended because I am doing so.

I know for a fact, from personal experience, that there are many emotionally-damaged brothers in Christ seeking wives yet they are not prepared to love them as Christ loves the church. Thank God I never allowed them into my heart or life far enough to cause damage to my emotions, call, or ministry. But many of our sisters have. And it’s high time that somebody uncovered the wolves in sheep’s clothing. The shepherds have not addressed their needs in this particular area. Therefore, some of the sheep have turned into wolves because they are operating without the hand of their shepherds holding them accountable in these issues.